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Oct26
Social Intelligence Part I
Linda Chan October 26, 2006
Know More: Communication skills 1-800-Flowers.com, Communication skills
In his book Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman writes that the more strongly one is connected to another’s emotions, the more potent an exchange can be. The book is a study in how nourishing relationships at work can be beneficial to health, and how toxic relations can poison the body.

Goleman gives the example of how someone’s anger can be contagious. In order to transform toxic dumps, one must look beyond self interest to the best interests of others. In his study, Goleman looked at high blood pressure and hypertension.
Those in lower level positions were four times more likely to develop cardiovascular disease than those in top positions. Those in top rungs did not need to put up with the toxicity of insults or whims from their managers. They were less likely to be unfairly criticized or be unsupported by their managers. Those in lower rungs felt hostility, fear, insecurity. Insults made those in lower levels helpless because they tended to obsess over the interactions. Contrary to a relationship among peers, insults by superiors cannot be challenged, with an apology requested. If insulted by someone of higher power, a person feels suppressed, angered, but resigned to tolerance. The passivity from not challenging insults gives permission to the superior to continue insulting. The silence hikes blood pressure and ultimately results in depression, anxiety, increased cardiovascular disease. Blood pressure falls when someone is around enjoyable people.

Goleman writes to steer clear of ambivalent relations where someone is sometimes good and sometimes bad. These relations put emotional demand because of the unpredictability of the interactions. In stressful relations, one gets illnesses.

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