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Oct25
Happiness is an Inside Job Part I
Happiness is an Inside Job by John Powell discusses the ten practices that make people happy. For the attorney who must engage in constant debates when dealing with litigation, contracts negotiations, or other conflicts, the book may assist in staying in tune with positive outlooks during communications.

The first practice that Powell writes is to accept the self as who one is. The tendency to hold on to ideas prevents someone from unhooking from the past. The only important reality is who one is now, not who one used to be, and not yet who one will be.

Self accepting people are empowered to be real. Taking the self too seriously is a sign of insecurity. When people are real, they do not live to other people’s expectations. They assert a right to be taken seriously, and enter into all relationships as an equal.

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This book does have some worthy insights, however the author tends to pigeonhole people into oversimplified categories according to the "games" they play to get their needs met. In real life however, I think people are more likely to fall into various roles, or games, at different times in their lives. Something about the presentation seemed just a little pretentious, too. The author sometimes appeared to think he was giving away some secret bits of information, heretofore known only by him or a few select others. This left a bad taste in my mouth. Nonetheless, some of the information presented was very valid, and at the very least the book serves as an excellent reminder that we are all afraid of rejection, no matter who we are. But we are not all "losers", in spite of the games we play; I don't think the author gives enough emphasis to this fact. In addition, I think that sometimes life is just what it is, and looking at it like it is some kind of game is of no useful value whatsoever. Watch out if you think you are having some kind of "aha!" experience, as it will be short-lived.

This book was required reading in my clinical psychology, masters level course. I was surprised to see a "popular psych" book in a graduate course but it turned out to be a great text. This book combines an academic and research perspective with accessible and easily generalized examples that can benefit anyone. Since reading it, I have significantly improved my relationship skills and use them frequently in my marriage. The self-tests, the simple practices, and the engaging writing style place this book at the top of the stack for relationship advice. This book is not just for couples in trouble--new couples or anyone looking to improve their relationship skills can benefit
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