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Oct 8
Daniel Goleman
Linda Chan October 8, 2006
Know More: Communication skills 2.0, Communication skills
On October 5, 2006, Daniel Goleman, author of Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships (Social Intelligence) spoke in San Jose, CA on how to nourish lasting personal relationships in a world of increasingly digitized interactions. In Social Intelligence, Goleman takes a look into social neuroscience. Social neuroscience explores how one individual’s brain interacts with another individual’s brain and the resulting connectedness between people.

Goleman concludes that empathy is the prime inhibitor of human cruelty. Those who commit crimes against people such as murder and rape, are able to commit those crimes by suppressing empathy. Goleman observes that people lose their abilities to care when they are rushed, and do not notice the hurt in others. Today, the distractions of cell phones, computers, and other devices keep people in bubbles and prevent them from opening up to the energy from others.

Nourishing relationships impact health and workplace success. Studies have shown that those who smile and laugh more suffer fewer emotional disorders, and become more successful leaders.
In order to have stronger connections with others, one must pay full attention to listen. Goleman gave the example of how someone felt rejected when discussing a death in her family when another person listened over the phone while tying on a keyboard. Though the person did not say anything negative, the typing affected the human moment.
Another factor in building relationships is synchronicity, the ability to tune into what another person is thinking. Synchronicity is better accomplished through in person conversations versus email communications. In online communications, an individual is unable to read the emotions of another, and may mistake the tone leading to flaming responses that exhibit uncontrolled anger.

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