« Relationship Goals | Main | November 2006 Events »

Oct29
Communicating During Conflicts
Linda Chan October 29, 2006
Know More: Communication skills 1-800-Flowers.com, Communication skills
Shelli Krunic spoke in Menlo Park, CA on communications with someone during times of conflict. Everyone has filters from their backgrounds, cultures. They listen by comparing. They may hear something different from what another is saying. In order to improve communications, become aware of another’s filters.

In every communication, there are facts. The facts are taken and interpreted into thoughts. The thoughts create feelings. The feelings lead to actions and behaviors. Facts may be interpreted differently.

The difference between truth and fact is that a fact may become someone’s truth though not an absolute truth. To communicate during conflicts, look at not who is right, but what is right. What is the outcome desired? Is it about being right or being happy? Take the emotions out and go back to the facts.
Seek first to listen without reacting so that one is able to hear what is not normally heard. If one becomes angry by what the other person is saying, stop the conversation and say it is time for a break. Don’t avoid the conversation. Go back to the conversation when one is able to hear the other person. If one is not able to say something pleasant, wait for a better time to say the words. Forgive unpleasant communications, and start again.

Check one’s emotions and name the feelings in order to walk through them, not deny the feelings. Denied feelings eventually resurface.

Identify the intent of conversations. Ask the other person his/her intent in order to clarify understandings.

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