Dr. Carol Fleming taught a course at UC Berkeley Extension on how to become comfortable in the presence of strangers. Here are some notes:
Work is social. Building connections increases a person's approachability. In business, it is important to learn how to feel comfortable in a room when one does not have any relationships.
In order to do this, practice by going to a lot of activities where there are interactions with people, not passive events such as watching tv or playing with a computer. After work, do not just go home. Do things that require conversation. Do not revert to someone who has self doubt in the presence of others. Communication is the new self. Project that to the world.
When speaking with someone, be mindful and focus only on that person. Get something out of every conversation. Do not keep silent out of the fear of meeting people.
Use small talk as an introduction. It cannot be in depth. It is a way of asking someone to be a friend.
For job seekers, networking allows for referrals. People do business with people they know, like, trust.
A person needs to be interesting in order for others to speak with. Do not speak in generalities - be specific. Say something interesting in order for others to ask questions. These are concrete hooks such as hobbies, places, work. Guide the conversation.
In a room of strangers, everyone has some commonality. Conversation will not come. Don't be passive. Look for conversations.
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