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Apr28
Frederic Luskin, PhD on Forgiveness
Linda Chan April 28, 2006
Know More: Career 2.0, Career
In his book Forgive for Good, Dr. Frederic Luskin, a Co-Director of the Stanford-Northern Ireland HOPE Project, gives steps to forgiveness which are applicable to the corporate environment. Many times attorneys are paid to win, but even when they win, their clients may still suffer. Sometimes a lying boss is invited wherever a person goes preventing the person from enjoying life.

Dr. Luskin advises not to put one’s comfort at someone else’s hands. The other person who does not forgive does not have one’s well being in mind. One cannot control other people, and people do not always care what others want.

All feelings past because everything in life is just a data point that eventually passes and changes. Versus holding on to hurts from the past, realize that what happens in the past does not make a difference in the present and choose to love life today along with its chronic pains. Unhappiness remains when someone keeps defining oneself based on bad situations.
Dr. Luskin writes that forgiveness is for the self, to take back one’s power. Do not waste energy trapped in anger over things that one cannot do anything about. For instance, on the lying boss, mentally replaying hurtful experiences allows the boss to ruin so many more days. The boss may be preoccupied with his own strifes of selling a company, ensuring his severance package, preserving cash for his own salary - he operates out of self interest. Clear the mind and realize that by continuing to be upset does not change what happened. Reciting a grievance only highlights the power the other person still has. Waste as little of life as possible in discomfort caused by anger or hurt.

Read Dr. Luskin’s nine step process to forgiveness.

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